The Alpha Male Is A Myth

Adrian Cruce
4 min readJan 3, 2023


When I was pretty young, I did not understand the whole “you are not a man” attack that came from different people and always seemed to target the “weaker” men.

Or what was being perceived as weak, usually physically weak or some sort of problem. I used to say “you have a penis, you are a man.” That did not age well of course. As I and people in general learned more about humanity, it is clear that the statement was wrong. There is so much more to being a man or a woman.

And the whole idea of the alpha male was being pushed everywhere.

I recently started rewatching “Criminal Minds” to catch up and then see the last season. And I kept noticing talks about alpha men, the idealized strong, imposing, dominating, and aggressive man. I understand that this was the easiest way to present that American jock personality. But, from now on, this is something that should not be used anymore.

Alpha Males Do Not Exist

You might already know that the idea of the alpha animal came from wolves. Some scientists observed wolves and saw that the tougher, bigger, most aggressive one was the leader.

The problem was that wolf pack analyzed was in captivity. Just like in jail, things change in captivity. In the free world, wolves rely on cooperation and compassion is very important. Wolves are very effective as a group working together, which makes the pack so strong. If the wolves would fight each other, like these alpha males do, there would be no strong pack.

The whole alpha vs beta debate is false. It is just a fabrication and it sure helps to sell products. Sure, it might work in some places, like in professional wrestling, but not really in real life.

Alpha Males Are Always Straight

With everything that we now know and finally accept about sexuality, the idea of the alpha male has another problem. To be an alpha male you need to have a lot of sex. With women. Only with women. So being gay automatically means you are not alpha. But, there are gay men who exhibit the behavior of the typical alpha male.

A Closer Look At The Alpha Male

Lately, every single time someone mentions an alpha male I think about Nick Adams, President Trump’s Favorite Author. This is how he markets himself. Here is how he describes himself:

The current alpha male idea we talk about is simply filled with toxic traits. Things like sexist, dominating, violent, and vulgar. He is loud, obnoxious, and caters to weak men that want to have what he has, which is success.

Think about people like this Nick Adams dude, Andrew Tate, and Donald Trump. They are considered to be alpha men, right? Or American soldiers, who are mostly presented as alpha men when in truth they are just the creation of toxic masculinity. Those who become these alpha men are not people you want to have around you.

Alpha men are bullies. They are presented as dominating people with ease. But this is no longer the case.

As information is more widely available to everyone with every single day that passes, people started to fight these bullies. And the remaining alpha males are screaming louder than they ever did. This is because they are disappearing.

The alpha male knows everything about everything, right? Is that possible? Trump always claimed he knows everything, especially about business. And he put more businesses into bankruptcy than several cities. The alpha male can beat everyone. And yet Connor McGregor was trashed by Khabib Nurmagomedov. The alpha male does not always win.

And it is completely normal since life is not only about winning and losing. It is about doing the right thing. You are more of a man than any of these alpha males if you do all you can to help those around you.

So What Is A Man?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a man is:

  • An individual human, especially an adult male human
  • A man belonging to a particular category (as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation)

Where does it say that the man is supposed to be an arrogant SOB?

A big problem with the alpha male is that he leaves a trail of misery and enemies. He bullies everyone and gets to the top by any means necessary. You can do that but when you get to the top there will be so many that will just wait for you to fall. When you fall, because you were so bad, you are out of luck. People will celebrate and be happy. Once again, remember Trump.

The real man is the one that leaves a different mark, a positive one. They help others and if something bad happens to them, they will be helped. The real man can make a mistake and is not ashamed of it. He understands he is not perfect and he does not live just to be or seem perfect in front of others.

And guess what, the real man can have as much sex as the so-called alpha man. In fact, he most likely can have a lot more than the alpha man. So if you work hard to become an alpha man after following people like Andrew Tate, remember you will most likely become an incel, not even that alpha man ideal.

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